Monday, June 1, 2009
Wow
That pisses me off. I was just reading something against gay/lesbian marriage on facebook. What I don't get is how all of these people try to shove their beliefs on everyone else. They're all "god intended us to marry a man" and blah blah blah. But did they ever think that maybe not EVERYONE believes the same thing that they do?! Hello! Maybe I don't care if you think I'm going to hell, because I don't believe it's real? How could you say that all of the people that are gay/les/bi/pan are going to hell, and tell them they can't get married to who they want, just because of something they don't believe in? I thought that it was decided a long time ago that religion wasn't supposed to be forced onto anyone, and here we are, with all these religious people trying to "save" the gays from damnation. Why do they care? If you think we're going to hell, keep your preaching to yourself, and leave us alone; if we want to go to hell, let us go. No offense to the religious, but it really angers me sometimes when someone trys to justify the denial of gay marriage with God this, and God that. I honestly don't care about what God wants me to do.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
GAH! 0.0
Wow, I haven't written in so loooong. It feels like nobody reads this thing lately, and I wouldn't either. I'm so BOOORRRIIINNNNGGGG. XD
Well, maybe I have a few interesting things going on now. Sooo, Maddy and Sav go to track, right? And Maddy is, at the moment, going out with a guy named Graham. Soo, Sav feels obliged to chaperone Maddy when she's with Graham, because she's done some pretty stupid stuff before, and then we have to deal with Maddy when the consequences come. So when Maddy waits with Graham for his parents to come pick him up after track, Sav waits with them. So one day, Sav doesn't feel so well, and runs only half of what everyone else is running. So she waits for Maddy to get back, and then for her to change. By now it's around 6. Then she waits with her for Grahams parents to come. By now it's around 6:30-6:45. So Maddy and Sav go over to unlock their bikes, and Sav's flipflop breaks. The try to fix it, which doesn't work, and then just bike home. This whole time, Sav is asking Maddy for her phone to call her mom, because she knows that she will get angry at her if she doesn't call, and Maddy has told her every time that they'll be leaving in 5 mins and she won't need to call. Surprise, surprise, Sav's mom is not called, and thinks that Sav has run away. Sav gets home and is grounded for life. Also, she has been told to stay away from Maddy, and if she's caught with her by her mom, she'll be in deep shit. Now, Sav is pissed at Maddy for getting her in trouble and so is Dani (Dani is a girl that Sav's mom called, asking if she knew where Sav was, which she didn't, and also thought Sav had run away). Of course, I am yet again stuck in the middle of the fight, where Maddy is crushed, confused, and completely hurt because she is suddenly ostrisized by two of her best friends, and Sav and Dani who are irritated by the nonchalant way that Maddy pushes away two of her best friends for her boyfriend, Graham (which has happened on many occasions) and her obvious obsession with texting him whenever possible.
I am somewhat confused as to how this came around. On multiple occasions, we have all told each other that if we are acting bitchy, mean, stupid, inconsiderate, etc, we need to be told so, and that we won't freak when we are. Now, Sav and Dani are both keeping many things from her, which I think need to be said, and Maddy is unsure about what she needs to change, and so am I. She has turned to me, being ignored by Sav and Dani, asking what she's doing wrong, and I feel completely uncomfortable trying to explain, when I'm not even sure about what needs to be said myself. I don't know what Dani and Sav specifically want Maddy to do, but it makes me very sad to hear both sides of the problem; one complaining, asking, "doesn't she get that we don't want to be around her?" and the other wondering what's going on, getting pissed, and asking what she isn't getting. I've never had the heart to explain anything to others of an evil nature, and Sav and Dani seem content to keep their thoughts to themselves around Maddy, and it's no wonder that she doesn't know what's wrong, seeing as they won't say anything. Personally, I am a little sick of what's happening, but I'm not sure what to do. I am certainly not willing to pick and choose sides; I'd never hurt Maddy or Sav that way. I couldn't do it. Especially if I left Maddy all on her lonesome. A large part of me would die, many times over. But the same would go for Sav. I've known them since second grade, and we've been like the three muskateers for the longest time. I find myself going over the past week and a half or so many times and coming up with no answers or solutions, or crappy ones anyway. What am I supposed to do? It's not supposed to be like this. We're supposed to be laughing and joking and sharing our deepest, darkest secrets at late night slumber parties, not sulking around, whispering behind each others backs and being banished from anothers presence.
Along with this conundrum, Sav has finally found someone she knows for sure that she likes. Problem is, he has a girlfriend. Unless what I heard today was true: that he broke up with his girlfriend. Which could be true, or it might not. A couple weeks ago, he'd said that he like Sav too, but had a girlfriend. Sav didn't want him to break up with his gf just to go out with her. But lately Sav says that it seems as if he doesn't like her anymore. And then he broke up with his gf. He seems more distant and depressed than ever, and now Sav is unsure of what to think. Also, Dani is going out with Andy M, but I'm not sure about how long THAT will last, judging by her last relationship, which went down the crapper because of miscommunication and simply NO communication. And then there's Maddy and Graham, who seem happy together, but I'm not so sure, seeing as she's always busy with track and I haven't REALLY seen her for such a long time.
I'm starting to feel stress build as school ends and I have to start, work on and finish all these projects, deal with problems, and watch as all the people around me play out their complicated romance stories while I sit on the sidelines. Part of me wonders where my stories went, and another part is glad not to have to deal with it. And I haven't really noticed how swamped I've felt until I wrote this. Now that I think about it, I've been feeling this comming on for a while as it built up, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of it, though it's happening right this moment. I haven't really been worried about Sav and Maddy not making up, but I'm not so sure anymore. If this ends up like I hope it won't, life may dramatically change for me, and I don't want it.
I guess I'd really like for some supportive comments right about now. It'd be nice. <=(
Good bye from a very confused Katie. =?
Well, maybe I have a few interesting things going on now. Sooo, Maddy and Sav go to track, right? And Maddy is, at the moment, going out with a guy named Graham. Soo, Sav feels obliged to chaperone Maddy when she's with Graham, because she's done some pretty stupid stuff before, and then we have to deal with Maddy when the consequences come. So when Maddy waits with Graham for his parents to come pick him up after track, Sav waits with them. So one day, Sav doesn't feel so well, and runs only half of what everyone else is running. So she waits for Maddy to get back, and then for her to change. By now it's around 6. Then she waits with her for Grahams parents to come. By now it's around 6:30-6:45. So Maddy and Sav go over to unlock their bikes, and Sav's flipflop breaks. The try to fix it, which doesn't work, and then just bike home. This whole time, Sav is asking Maddy for her phone to call her mom, because she knows that she will get angry at her if she doesn't call, and Maddy has told her every time that they'll be leaving in 5 mins and she won't need to call. Surprise, surprise, Sav's mom is not called, and thinks that Sav has run away. Sav gets home and is grounded for life. Also, she has been told to stay away from Maddy, and if she's caught with her by her mom, she'll be in deep shit. Now, Sav is pissed at Maddy for getting her in trouble and so is Dani (Dani is a girl that Sav's mom called, asking if she knew where Sav was, which she didn't, and also thought Sav had run away). Of course, I am yet again stuck in the middle of the fight, where Maddy is crushed, confused, and completely hurt because she is suddenly ostrisized by two of her best friends, and Sav and Dani who are irritated by the nonchalant way that Maddy pushes away two of her best friends for her boyfriend, Graham (which has happened on many occasions) and her obvious obsession with texting him whenever possible.
I am somewhat confused as to how this came around. On multiple occasions, we have all told each other that if we are acting bitchy, mean, stupid, inconsiderate, etc, we need to be told so, and that we won't freak when we are. Now, Sav and Dani are both keeping many things from her, which I think need to be said, and Maddy is unsure about what she needs to change, and so am I. She has turned to me, being ignored by Sav and Dani, asking what she's doing wrong, and I feel completely uncomfortable trying to explain, when I'm not even sure about what needs to be said myself. I don't know what Dani and Sav specifically want Maddy to do, but it makes me very sad to hear both sides of the problem; one complaining, asking, "doesn't she get that we don't want to be around her?" and the other wondering what's going on, getting pissed, and asking what she isn't getting. I've never had the heart to explain anything to others of an evil nature, and Sav and Dani seem content to keep their thoughts to themselves around Maddy, and it's no wonder that she doesn't know what's wrong, seeing as they won't say anything. Personally, I am a little sick of what's happening, but I'm not sure what to do. I am certainly not willing to pick and choose sides; I'd never hurt Maddy or Sav that way. I couldn't do it. Especially if I left Maddy all on her lonesome. A large part of me would die, many times over. But the same would go for Sav. I've known them since second grade, and we've been like the three muskateers for the longest time. I find myself going over the past week and a half or so many times and coming up with no answers or solutions, or crappy ones anyway. What am I supposed to do? It's not supposed to be like this. We're supposed to be laughing and joking and sharing our deepest, darkest secrets at late night slumber parties, not sulking around, whispering behind each others backs and being banished from anothers presence.
Along with this conundrum, Sav has finally found someone she knows for sure that she likes. Problem is, he has a girlfriend. Unless what I heard today was true: that he broke up with his girlfriend. Which could be true, or it might not. A couple weeks ago, he'd said that he like Sav too, but had a girlfriend. Sav didn't want him to break up with his gf just to go out with her. But lately Sav says that it seems as if he doesn't like her anymore. And then he broke up with his gf. He seems more distant and depressed than ever, and now Sav is unsure of what to think. Also, Dani is going out with Andy M, but I'm not sure about how long THAT will last, judging by her last relationship, which went down the crapper because of miscommunication and simply NO communication. And then there's Maddy and Graham, who seem happy together, but I'm not so sure, seeing as she's always busy with track and I haven't REALLY seen her for such a long time.
I'm starting to feel stress build as school ends and I have to start, work on and finish all these projects, deal with problems, and watch as all the people around me play out their complicated romance stories while I sit on the sidelines. Part of me wonders where my stories went, and another part is glad not to have to deal with it. And I haven't really noticed how swamped I've felt until I wrote this. Now that I think about it, I've been feeling this comming on for a while as it built up, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of it, though it's happening right this moment. I haven't really been worried about Sav and Maddy not making up, but I'm not so sure anymore. If this ends up like I hope it won't, life may dramatically change for me, and I don't want it.
I guess I'd really like for some supportive comments right about now. It'd be nice. <=(
Good bye from a very confused Katie. =?
Friday, April 17, 2009
DAY OF SILENCE
Oooof, you have no idea how much I hate Sam. Stupidest person I've ever met.
Anyway, the day went pretty well, all the teachers were supportive, none of the students said anything against the day whatsoever, so I'd say it was a success. =)
It was actually really hard to keep myself from talking. Not because I felt that I needed to talk or anything, but because I kept forgetting. XD After I got sucked into the songs we played in band, I totally forgot that I wasn't supposed to talk afterwards, and imediately started talking. But thankfully, I was reminded and promptly shut my mouth and, (literally) slapped myself. Ahah, yeaah, it was a bit hard, but it made the day better than a normal day.
Anyway, the day went pretty well, all the teachers were supportive, none of the students said anything against the day whatsoever, so I'd say it was a success. =)
It was actually really hard to keep myself from talking. Not because I felt that I needed to talk or anything, but because I kept forgetting. XD After I got sucked into the songs we played in band, I totally forgot that I wasn't supposed to talk afterwards, and imediately started talking. But thankfully, I was reminded and promptly shut my mouth and, (literally) slapped myself. Ahah, yeaah, it was a bit hard, but it made the day better than a normal day.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I've always wanted to be quietly brilliant; a subtle genius. I want to make things and have people say "wow" when they see it. I want to make an impact, to let people know that I'm here. And I want to be modest about it.
See, the real problem is, I've never been particularly brilliant. I'm not special, I can't make someone cry with a page of writing, I can't inspire someone with a drawing. Have you ever tried to create a character that the world can relate to? Not as easy as it seems. Have you ever tried to get a peice of writing to flow with a grace enviable of a swan? Not as easy as it seems. Have you ever tried not to boast about something you know to be one of the best works you've ever done? Not as easy as it seems.
So maybe I've accomplished a thing or two. Maybe I've made something I happen to like. What good is it if it's not appreciated? How is it appreciated if it isn't seen? How is it seen if it isn't shown? How is it shown without the shower seeming boastful? It's hard. Unknown brilliance quickly turns to loud, showy, concieted, I'm-so-much-better-than-you brilliance.
You see the problem? So much for the small importance I want.
See, the real problem is, I've never been particularly brilliant. I'm not special, I can't make someone cry with a page of writing, I can't inspire someone with a drawing. Have you ever tried to create a character that the world can relate to? Not as easy as it seems. Have you ever tried to get a peice of writing to flow with a grace enviable of a swan? Not as easy as it seems. Have you ever tried not to boast about something you know to be one of the best works you've ever done? Not as easy as it seems.
So maybe I've accomplished a thing or two. Maybe I've made something I happen to like. What good is it if it's not appreciated? How is it appreciated if it isn't seen? How is it seen if it isn't shown? How is it shown without the shower seeming boastful? It's hard. Unknown brilliance quickly turns to loud, showy, concieted, I'm-so-much-better-than-you brilliance.
You see the problem? So much for the small importance I want.
...
If I told you, sweet child,
Of the lies you will come to know as true,
Would you leave?
Would you take your life and pack it into a bag,
Carry it across the sea,
And search for an answer?
Or would you stay with me,
Sweet child,
And drink it in like a babe at her mothers' breast?
Would you preach it,
Sing it like a siren,
With words on your lips and legs and hips?
And would you like it?
Or would you fight it,
Like a soldier, like a killer,
Like an angel?
Would you try to relieve the Earth of it's sins,
Take the world off of its shoulders,
Give it a happily ever after?
But I wouldn't help you,
My darling,
Because what is this life to me?
Merely a lie I've come to know as true.
Of the lies you will come to know as true,
Would you leave?
Would you take your life and pack it into a bag,
Carry it across the sea,
And search for an answer?
Or would you stay with me,
Sweet child,
And drink it in like a babe at her mothers' breast?
Would you preach it,
Sing it like a siren,
With words on your lips and legs and hips?
And would you like it?
Or would you fight it,
Like a soldier, like a killer,
Like an angel?
Would you try to relieve the Earth of it's sins,
Take the world off of its shoulders,
Give it a happily ever after?
But I wouldn't help you,
My darling,
Because what is this life to me?
Merely a lie I've come to know as true.
So hey...
Don't tell anyone, but I suck at life. XD
Okay, so y'know Jonathan, right? (Hah, who am I kidding? Who DOESN'T know about him?) Yeah, he's really amazing. He's super nice and tall and cute and increadibly cuddly. And he understands that most girls aren't sluts, and they don't want to be taken that way.
But I've never really been in love or anything like that. I don't love him. Or not yet at least. I'm sure I'll know once I'm totally certain. But for now, I'm just taking it as it comes. I'm having a lot of fun, and I really like Jonathan. I'm pretty much know for sure that I'll totally fall for him soon enough, but would it be leading him on? I mean, it's not like I'm planning to break up with him in a couple weeks because I've had my fill of him or something stupid. But would it be fair to him? Am I just being selfish? Or is it ok?
I'm confuuuused. >.<
Okay, so y'know Jonathan, right? (Hah, who am I kidding? Who DOESN'T know about him?) Yeah, he's really amazing. He's super nice and tall and cute and increadibly cuddly. And he understands that most girls aren't sluts, and they don't want to be taken that way.
But I've never really been in love or anything like that. I don't love him. Or not yet at least. I'm sure I'll know once I'm totally certain. But for now, I'm just taking it as it comes. I'm having a lot of fun, and I really like Jonathan. I'm pretty much know for sure that I'll totally fall for him soon enough, but would it be leading him on? I mean, it's not like I'm planning to break up with him in a couple weeks because I've had my fill of him or something stupid. But would it be fair to him? Am I just being selfish? Or is it ok?
I'm confuuuused. >.<
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