Heeeyy....0.o

Okay, just read all the other blogs, and I feel strangely left out. T.T Sometimes I think I have to many relationships to keep up, and too many that I have to try and start, that I forget the older ones. It makes me sad. =(
There're a few people at school that I want to try and kick up friendships with - Julie, Gersha, Ben - for example, and for me it's harder to do this than for others. And then I just keep finding more layers in Maddy and Sav, which is always surprising, although it shouldn't be. They're pretty complex people. (Yes, Sav is complex. You just don't notice it. =D) And then, at the same time, I want to keep the friendship between Sami and Jackie (who hasn't called me... o.O) and, not to mention, my dear Kloie (who I haven't seen since the beginning of summer). It so hard. Of course, Maddy is having her own huge drama (and trust me, it's huge) which just makes me feel more preoccupied.
Hell, I used to be so involved in some peoples' lives, and now I read something new happening in their lives, and I can't believe that I never knew before then, because before, I would've known everything before they happened. Truthfully, it's a bit depressing.
One of my friends from school is being a bit bitchy, and so am I. (I know, I'm a little surprised, but that sounds like me.) Well, neither of us are on our periods or anything (as far as I know) but I guess I've just been a little short tempered with stubborn Sav and Dani (the other bitchy friend, who is a girl by the way) and even a little with Maddy. I guess I need to tell my self to get glad, not mad. Maybe that'd work better if I finally forced my self to just talk to a certain person... but I don't know if I'm capable. XD Yeah, you can probably guess who I'm a talkin about. Or not. Either way, he may have been mentioned earlier in this post. =D On that topic, I'm not totally sure if I still like him, but I think I do. It just makes me stop breathing when he looks at me. Hell, he makes me stop breathing when he's not looking at me.
Okay, so the biggest obstacle for me actually talking to him is that about a month ago, I was at a football game. I was with Sav and a whole bunch of other people, including Dani. So, that exact game, they ask who I like. So (rather reluctantly) I tell them. Of course, Sav wants to go tell him, so I threaten her. Ends up that Dani tells him, and he says he doesn't like me, but might if he knew me better. Simple, right? you might think. Just go talk to him, right? NOT. It's soooo hard!!!! Have you ever gone up to someone you liked who knew you liked them, and didn't like you back. Nerve wrecking. Well, for me anyway. Some people are just amazing, and can do that, but I'm just not amazing.

Okay, okay, I finally let out my woes. Poo. I'm tired now. Nighty night.

Okee. *le sigh*

Well, following up on that last post, yes I do in fact like someone. But I'm not gonna say their name.
>.>
<.<
Maybe I will. But probably not.

Anyway, changed my picture again. I like it. =D It's Sav.

I don't really have much to say, but I did write something new a while ago for Maddy's B-day party. Vwa La :

Dead

And she breached her casket like a butterfly.

As if she'd been born, come alive, and entered the world with a song on her tongue and color in her smile. As if she'd shed a cacoon of tears and sweat and bitter, aching love. As if she'd forgotten what it was like to feel the shadows crawl, and creep, and devour her flesh, leaving a thought of no tommorrow. But she hadn't, and she knew it, and she unfurled her wings. They glittered and shone, and I was blinded, confused, befuddled by her majesty. I shrank down and small, as her beauty encompassed the sun, the moon, and my heart, but not because she was beautiful. Because she had tears in her eyes that overflowed the brims, and clung to each eyelash like a pearl in the sea, while in the cusp of her hand, she held the world ever so gently, like the feathers of a dove. Because she reached and reached and touched the tip of my nose, and she said, "Hello." And suddenly the salt was escaping my sockets and streaming in a rainbow down my face, and I cried, and I blubbered, and only but thought about touching her soft hands of cream and honey. And she held my face in her palm, like the world glowing round, and the pain, the fear, the hurt, came to the surface. She took all of it in her hands and she told me it was all right, and my salt fell like rain. I was taken in by her knowing smile, and I reached and reached, with my arms around her, and I said, "I love you. I love you like the sun, the moon, and my heart. And, crying words of love, she breached her casket like a butterfly,

And Lived.

Adios. =D

Well, perhaps...

I figured that since everyone else has been posting about relationship thingies, I'd put a few on the pile. =) I might (just maybe, only a little bit, not really, kind of, kind of really, a lot) like someone who possibly attends my school. But only possibly.

I'll post in a little bit, gotta go now. ._.

-insert latest eye catching title here-

I am feeling much better today. Well, and yesterday too. But anyway, I'm in a really good mood! I can't wait for halloween! It's gonna be really warm too! You probly already know, but I'm gonna be a zombie bride. My mom finished altering the dress for me last night. It's super pretty. =D
Talking about dresses, I get to go to Sadies! I'm really excited about that, because I didn't get to go to homecoming. But I am worried about the actual dancing part, seeing as I suck at it. XD

On a sadder topic, Maddy wasn't at school today because her mom had to be taken to the hospital, and she had to watch her sisters while her parents were gone. Her mom wasn't able to move and was really nauseous and was really dizzy whenever she opened her eyes. The doctors still don't know what's wrong, and it's been about six hours. I just hope that nothing really bad happens, like finding out she has cancer or something. That would suck.
I guess I'll write later. Bye.

Bananas =D

Ok, I've been really down lately, and I don't know why. I'm so tired and I just don't want to do anything. I used to want to go to school every day and, scary as it is, I didn't want weekends to start. Now I can't wait for it even though it's only Tuesday. I used to be so excited to see certain people/person but now I'm not so sure about it. One of my friends is taking forever to do something I'd like her to do, but whenever I ask her about it she gets really annoyed. I just don't know how to cheer myself up anymore.
The party on Friday was super fun, but it left me questioning a few things at school. I feel so confused right now. I want a hug right now, but I don't think a hug would help me anyway. Oh well. *hugs computer*

Partay

Ok, partay is such a stupid word, but I AM going to one tommorrow so... yay! I get to go see Sami (O.O) and Jackie and all her new friends. (Well, SOME of her new friends anyway.) I'm actually pretty excited! I haven't seen those guys in such a long time and, of course, some I've NEVER seen. Anyway, Jackie seems to be doin pretty good in highschool but it sounds like Sami needs a hug. *gives Sami a vertual hug* And it also sound like Alex needs a hug, but, oh well, he can deal on his own for now. But I DO expect an explaination from Sami on his troubles. *looks expectantly at Sami*
CANNOT WAIT for Halloween! I'm gonna be a zombie bride. YAY! My mom is sewing my costume for me (as usual) and I really want to see how it will turn out.
Back on the topic of troubles at school: I'm becoming imensely frustrated. GRRR!!! *hits the computer* Some people can be SSOOOO ELUSIVE!!! But I won't go into that because it is somewhat personal. If you want to know about it, you can ask me at the party... I guess. Or maybe I'll just become elusive myself. We'll have to find out later, won't we.

0.0

Gaaah! I hate being sick. I didn't go to school yesterday because I felt like crap. Everything was sore and there was so much crud in my throat. It was horrible. Today I feel better, but my throat still hurts, and so does my neck. I'm really excited for tonight! I can't wait until the game. Too bad that I can't go to homecoming though. =( My parents won't let me because of the game last friday. There was a bunch of fighting and my bike got stolen and there were a whole bunch of police cars everywhere because there was supposed to be a shooting. It was crazy. The only reason I get to go the game tonight is because it's required to play at it for band. I'm glad I get to go though, it's gonna be so fun! I'm kinda dissapointed in some people though.... >:( Yeah, you know who you are. Grrr.